2019.5/4 合宿

　　覺得想把現在的每一天都記錄下來，但堅持用英文的話就什麼也說不出來了。

　　尤其是語言邏輯正不斷被日文化的現在。

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　　二月合宿的時候和M君聊到R君雖然很帥但沒有女朋友的事情，M君說R君有的時候太堅持己見，和別人爭執的時候很可怕。我雖然隱隱約約也可以感覺得到這件事情，然而對我來說從來不是問題。我當時回答M君因為我年紀比大家大五歲，所以就算堅持己見，對我來說也像是堅持己見的小弟弟，看起來反而很可愛(?)。

　　不過當然不是這樣，雖然我年紀真的比他們大很多，可是日文用起來就像智障一樣，所以反而沒有什麼年齡差的感覺（斷言）。

　　實際的原因是，本來我的朋友就全是一些堅持己見的人。這樣的特質本來就吸引著我。

　　因為我內心深處本來就是堅持己見的人。

     I really want to record my everyday life, however nothing shows up in my mind if I insisted writing in English.

     Especially now Japanese logic has strong influence on my language logic.

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     During the training camp (合宿) on February, I was discussing with M why R didn't have girlfriend even he is so handsome.

     M said that R was sometimes insisting on his idea too much. And that was horrible when he had fight with other people.

     I did notice that but it was not really a problem to me. I told M that because I was five years older than everybody in the circle, so even he insisted on his idea, he looks just like a cute little boy who stands on his ground.

　　However it was not true. My Japanese ability was so weak that there's no true generation gap between me and them.

　　But the true reason is that, almost all my friends ARE people who stand on their ground. I was always attracted by this kind of personality.

     Because I am the person who always stand on my ground.

2019.3/13 簡單的永恆

　　時間是個看起來對誰都好的可愛老好人，不過當你還沒來得及好好認識他之前，他就拿著一把槍對著你，帶著一如往常的無敵燦爛微笑。 　　你可以努力說服他，要求他把槍扔掉，然後發現怎麼樣都是白費力氣，你終將了解這個老混蛋打定主意要殺掉每一個人，他會貫徹他的意志，直到萬物的盡頭到來。 　　或是你也可以給他一個一模一樣的燦爛笑容，在他下定決心前咨意妄為。拯救這個世界也好，摧毀這個世界也好，記得要用自己的方式。最後在時間扣下扳機之際，帶著永恆的笑容死去。 　　正因為人生是有限的，才得以超越無限的時間，創造簡單的永恆。

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Time is a good old guy who seems to kind to anyone. But before you really knew him, he was holding a gun to your head, with the bright warm smile as usual. You can try to persuade him, asking him to put his gun down. Someday you will know it is impossible. Eventually, you will realize he has made up his mind to kill everyone. He will do anything to reach his goal, until the ultimate end of everything. Or, you can give him a same damn warm smile, and do whatever you want to do before he completes his mission. No matter it is saving this world, or destroying this world. Just make sure you do it your way. In the end, face the death with eternal smile before time puts the trigger. It is the finiteness of life that can surpass the infinity of time, creating the simplest eternity.

　　時間の無限性を越えて、平凡な永遠を創ったのは、人生の有限性です。